INCESTUOUS ABUSE is one of the heinous crimes that our society has been facing since ages, but, there is nobody to confess it, neither the perpetrator nor the victim. It’s a blindfolded situation, which is continuously searching for defence as well as justice.
It is a shame for our numb society where we live in, but yes, this is the pinching truth, which cannot be eradicated so easily. Only few have the courage to unveil this naked reality.
Incestuous abuse is a forced sexual relation, which an older family member, or anyone so close to the family that he or she gains trust and becomes a part of the family, carries out. Presently, there are all possible cases of incestuous abuse including father, brother, cousin, grandfather, uncle and even recently, servants and tutors. And the victims who get subjected to such crime are between 10 to 16 years of age. Sometimes it becomes a one time experience, but at times it happens more than once, repeatedly.
Anuja Gupta, who is the founder and executive director of RAHI Foundation (Recovering And Healing from Incest), an NGO, says, “There is a silence in the society, nobody wants to talk about it, as it is a shame for the family and sometimes, there is a fear of perpetrator that it must be kept secret.” As a child, one does not have language to talk about it and blame and get their abuser punished. And even if they divulge such facts, they are not heard or are asked to hush up the matter. “A condition of denial exists in our society, which pressurises the victim to remain silent,” she explained.
Usha Rai, who is a development and health journalist, working on gender and health issues, says,” People generally don’t believe the victims and say that the girl must have invited the guy.”
It’s often that the victims don’t go out and ask for justice, though they wish for justice. “Girls in our society feel embarrassed to confess such things, as they are not given freedom to raise their voices against such issues and moreover they are guided by family pressures,” said Ranjana Kumari, who is a prominent women activist in the Centre for Social Research, Delhi. There is a fear that these realities will let down the prestige of their family. “The victims mostly fear acceptance,” says Rai.
In India, women are not allowed to live independently, so practising their freedom and rights are beyond question. “In the middle class families, sex is a taboo, it is not openly talked about, which makes the women of our society victimised to such garbage, which is continuously challenging their individuality,” says Ranjana.
Moreover, we don’t have adequate laws under incest abuse to punish the abusers. There is also a laxity on the part of judiciary that the few cases which are in notice remain pending. It is also that no women want to take her family member to the court in such cases. It just becomes a matter of emotional bonding in the family.
The mental state of the victims in such cases is very complicated. In school level, either their performance can fall or they become an overachiever. “Sometimes these people canalise their frustration in creative things or they turn to various addictions to cope with the pain and numb their feelings,” says Gupta.
Such incidents can also affect their sexual life as well and after marriage they face problems. “The victims of such incidents are reluctant in building intimacy, as their trust has got betrayed somewhere and they loose the stability of relations in their life,” explains Gupta.
Such abuses are rampant all over the world. For a simple reason that our society is unequal and biased, women and children do not have equal powers and rights as the men. We are really waiting for a savoir who can give a relief from this age old crime against women.
It is a shame for our numb society where we live in, but yes, this is the pinching truth, which cannot be eradicated so easily. Only few have the courage to unveil this naked reality.
Incestuous abuse is a forced sexual relation, which an older family member, or anyone so close to the family that he or she gains trust and becomes a part of the family, carries out. Presently, there are all possible cases of incestuous abuse including father, brother, cousin, grandfather, uncle and even recently, servants and tutors. And the victims who get subjected to such crime are between 10 to 16 years of age. Sometimes it becomes a one time experience, but at times it happens more than once, repeatedly.
Anuja Gupta, who is the founder and executive director of RAHI Foundation (Recovering And Healing from Incest), an NGO, says, “There is a silence in the society, nobody wants to talk about it, as it is a shame for the family and sometimes, there is a fear of perpetrator that it must be kept secret.” As a child, one does not have language to talk about it and blame and get their abuser punished. And even if they divulge such facts, they are not heard or are asked to hush up the matter. “A condition of denial exists in our society, which pressurises the victim to remain silent,” she explained.
Usha Rai, who is a development and health journalist, working on gender and health issues, says,” People generally don’t believe the victims and say that the girl must have invited the guy.”
It’s often that the victims don’t go out and ask for justice, though they wish for justice. “Girls in our society feel embarrassed to confess such things, as they are not given freedom to raise their voices against such issues and moreover they are guided by family pressures,” said Ranjana Kumari, who is a prominent women activist in the Centre for Social Research, Delhi. There is a fear that these realities will let down the prestige of their family. “The victims mostly fear acceptance,” says Rai.
In India, women are not allowed to live independently, so practising their freedom and rights are beyond question. “In the middle class families, sex is a taboo, it is not openly talked about, which makes the women of our society victimised to such garbage, which is continuously challenging their individuality,” says Ranjana.
Moreover, we don’t have adequate laws under incest abuse to punish the abusers. There is also a laxity on the part of judiciary that the few cases which are in notice remain pending. It is also that no women want to take her family member to the court in such cases. It just becomes a matter of emotional bonding in the family.
The mental state of the victims in such cases is very complicated. In school level, either their performance can fall or they become an overachiever. “Sometimes these people canalise their frustration in creative things or they turn to various addictions to cope with the pain and numb their feelings,” says Gupta.
Such incidents can also affect their sexual life as well and after marriage they face problems. “The victims of such incidents are reluctant in building intimacy, as their trust has got betrayed somewhere and they loose the stability of relations in their life,” explains Gupta.
Such abuses are rampant all over the world. For a simple reason that our society is unequal and biased, women and children do not have equal powers and rights as the men. We are really waiting for a savoir who can give a relief from this age old crime against women.
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